“Lonely, ain't it?”

“Yes, but my lonely is mine now. My lonely before was somebody else's. Made by somebody else and handed to me. Ain't that something? A secondhand kind of lonely.” The obsession that almost everyone wants: ‘Love’. Many people think that in falling in love they make themselves whole. The platonic union of souls? I think otherwise. I think you should be whole before you begin. And the right kind of love preserves and enhances that wholeness. As for the wrong kind — it fractures you. You’re whole, and then you’re cracked open. --❥ Be single by choice, and continue to be until you meet somebody who deserves you. x

沒有目的地愛了

March 14 2012

You are a jerk!

Leaving soon

I am feeling so lost these days. Yesterday you were treating me so bad, so different from last week. Did something happened in the past week? Why you even treat a friend more polite and nicer than to me?

Did you do it in purpose or you really don't want to see me and spend time with me? If so, then why you came at the first place? It is because you worry I will break down again?

You know how sad I was when you were not facing me? and always put your back toward me? I know it just a short time, but I treasure every hug you give me, but why you just can't even do that when you were with me and have to give me the attitude that you really hate it and don't want to be with me when you are just right in front of me?

We had the long talk last night and I told you that my friend has depression and you said why people in vancouver have depression? Do you know it is not something we can control? We need a lot of love and support and it is not easy to change our way of thinking. I don't want to depress as well, I want my old self and be happy and have confidence too. But I just can't and why can you support me but dragging me down?

After five months you couldn't tell what my problems are? Or are you just ignoring them? Are you the same person that I met 9 years ago? You are not the same, where is your caring heart? You became so realistic and selfish. You used to be such a caring person and loving person. Where is your heart now?

I asked you what you think I changed and you said I am quiet and not fighting for the first place anymore. I know I am also not as happy ( or seemly say I am unhappy) and I don't have confidence. I think toward you I am too weak that I just want you to support and take care of me and hope there is a person I can trust. But I know you are not willing to be that person.

You are leaving soon and you know I am really upset about it....should we just stop there? Or is it just me that not willing to stop?

Happy Valentine’s day!

Happy Valentine’s day!

This is a really sad day for me, I don’t think we should have the talk, but in a way at least I know the reason why you couldn’t say “I like you”.

I am still feeling really painful in my tummy, but it is the pain in my body or in my heart? I couldn’t tell, I just feel something is squeezing me that make it really really painful. I feel really bad that I skipped work today, but really I really cannot go…

What is our solution? You asked me what I want to get out of this relationship, how about you? There are only a few solutions, one is not seeing each other anymore, second is you find another girlfriend, third is I find another guy, or last is being together. All of them will hurt us somehow in life, you think you will hurt me in the future, but right now I am already so deeply involved. How can you say you want to put it down when it is not too deep when I already fall deeply into it at the first place? I know I am giving you a lot of pressure, but seriously I want you to think, if really you have feeling toward me and I love you, why you can’t give me a chance? Past cannot be ease, but then we are living in present, can’t we treasure time being together and be happy in this moment? Yes, it will be difficult for you, but I promise I will love you way more to help you move on. Plus I really can’t take it if you are leaving me now….you know how weak I am that I just can’t……….if you really care about me, then just stay with me.

一輩子很短，我們可否將錯就錯？

如何抓住雙子座男人的心？

雙子座的人給人第一個印象，是活潑開朗又健談，交游廣闊亦有多元的興趣。但再有更深入的認識後，會發現他是性格多變，完完全全是一個雙面人。飄忽不定、似有若無的態度，令人捉不住，看不清，好像披上神秘的面紗，反而有著讓人不可抗拒的魅力。

很多人會說雙子是花心，但只要全心全意信任，就要喜歡他的「變動」，亦要跟他一起「互動」。不要固執保守，越拉緊越易斷。等待他的心安定下來，便會乖乖留在身邊。
如果跟雙子座在一起，你應該要

1. 打扮鮮明常有變化
2. 有神采的大眼妝
3. 資歷比他優秀
4. 浪漫有情調的晚餐
5. 甜言蜜語
6. 興趣獨特多元化
7. 獨立自主不依賴

如果跟雙子座在一起，你絕不可以
1. 約會時欠細心打扮
2. 過時的妝容
3. 思想固執守舊
4. 呆板不懂說話
5. 社交能力薄弱
6. 經常追查行蹤
7. 沒有安全感不信任

In Pain

Just haven't talk with you for a day make me painful, I hate to see that you have been using whatsapp, but did not even leave a message for me.

Sometimes I would ask myself am I demanding? I don't know, I don't have position to ask you for anything.

I have a lot of stuffs in my mind. I really hope you would love me again, but I can feel you are walking further and further toward the other end. There are many things that you are not open up with me ( even though you are never an open up person, I always hope I can know you better ) I remember last time you told me you cannot give what I want, it is not a marriage, a future, but just a relationship ( an official relationship). Every time when I think of it, I feel bad about myself. The song that you played the car is it to tell me that I am just lying to myself? I just pretend I don't know doesn't mean it is not happening?

I think I really trying hard in this relationship, I want to be together with you even there are lots of obstacles and uncertainty about future, but are you on the same page with me? I tried not to give you too much pressure, try not to think about your feelings toward me. All I want to do is to spend time with you and enjoy all the moments we can. I tried to avoid all the unhappy topics and I know I have failed sometimes. But sometimes you are giving me too much hopes that I have fantasize that we are going to work out and you like me. Every time when I see you, the feeling is so true and I almost believed in it. Even you always try to avoid the responsibility by asking me if I want you to spend time with me or if you should come see me, but seriously if you don’t want to see me, you would ask those questions. It is just your excuse to not commit to this relationship. Given this point, I don’t know if I should consider this as a big problem because you are a person that I love because you are a responsible person and you would love and care about me no matter what happened to me and you would never want to hurt me. But are you the same person? You are not anymore and should I still drag this on and give myself hopes? I don’t know. The way you kissed me is so addictive and the hugs you gave me is so warm that I have forgotten what is right or wrong.

I said I don’t care about other girls around you and it is true still, in a relationship (well even thought we are not in a real one) but I believe there should be TRUST and I trust you and believe that you won’t want to hurt me.

Truth is always painful

Sometimes truth is very painful.

Actually can you tell me the truth? Do you like me? What am I to you?

You said you will never lie to me, but then you are not telling me the truth.

Not tell me anything = telling me the truth since you didn't lie to me?

Got touched by this:

What should I do?

Three days already. You didn't find me for three days! What are you doing in these three days? Have you thought about me? Why you can't even send me a message? Why you have to treat me like this?

When you were with me, you are so sweet and caring. Even though you never admit that you like me and you don't want anyone know that you are with me, but I feel you want to see me and you want to spend time with me. You will make plan for seeing me again and I feel happy that you actually want to see me again.

On saturday you actually came over again, I was supprised, is it because you really want to see me again? or you were just lonely? I couldn't think of a reason why you were still up, are you waiting for me? But then you can't say that you like me when I asked you, I really don't know what is our relationship.

I don't want to be demanding, as I know what our relationship is, we are not together. But how can I possibily be not demanding when I really miss you and after all the sweet stuff you did and you became cold again. Why you cannot treasure a bit the love I gave to you and I am trying really hard to be a good girlfriend this time? You know I will never do it again if you won't treasure.

I saw the message she sent you. I didn't know you still keep in touch with her. Should I be still believe in you? I know you are spending the weekend with me and I know you do want to spend time with me, should I not be asking for too much from you?

I wish you can tell me what I should do....?

好朋友只是朋友

How to love?

Love is both an action and a feeling. The action of love generates a blissful feeling called by the same name. When the action stops, the blissful feeling is replaced with pain. There is a similar feeling called lust which may be confused with love. You need to decipher between the two in order to have a healthy heart. Every person is capable of great love (and its opposite, fear, which generates all painful emotions such as hate, greed and jealousy).
While there are many different ways to define love and there are many different ways to love someone (or even yourself), here is a general guide to loving.
Steps

1 Know it. First of all you should know you like someone or not.


2 Watch. see if the one you are interested in is engaged with someone else, if yes then wait till they break up or leave him, if not then see he/she too likes you or not.

3 Say it. Say it. When you say the words "I Love You", they should carry with them the desire to show someone that you love them, not what you simply want to feel. When you say it, make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person.

4 Empathize. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, to understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are. Realize how they could also love you back just as well.

5 Love unconditionally. If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not unconditional. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally.

6 Expect nothing in return. That doesn't mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for the sake of love. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you; do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way.

7 Realize it can be lost. Realize it can be lost. If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love. Don't make an idol of the person you love. This will place them under undue pressure and will likely result in you losing them.

8 Never stop loving. Even if you have been hurt before you should not stop giving love.

Sick

I really want to see you tonight, I don't know it is really because I am sick, or I just really miss you. I have't see you for 14 days already.

You told me you will come on the weekends, but today is only Tuesday, you want me to be alone, sick, sad and missing you till weekends? Do you know how sad I would be, how sick I would be, do you know how many tears it would be?

Where is the person that felt sorry about won't able to stay with me while I am sick? Where is the person who told me I am the person he loves the most?

What should I do? Can you tell me?

i n 55!w！

Why there are so many movie about past love? Do we really miss our past love so much? Do we always think we will meet our ex again? What will happen?

－夜

－整夜都睡不着，腦海裡想着都是你，Whatsapp開了一整晚，開始有些擔心你．

又開始咳，打開你買的咳藥水，到底幾時病好？

打破了的杯

我相信緣份，五年後我們再次見面，再次擁抱，我覺得是有原因．一個將近一年無寫的Blog又再次為你而寫．

你還記得我跟你說我打破了－隻我做给你的杯嗎？

其實那晚我實在太難過了，所以故意把它打破．但看到它變成碎片那刻我的心只有更庝．．．

那晚我把那隻杯黏好，放在桌上．

第二天你看到了，但一句話也沒説．你是故意假裝看不到還是不在乎？

「我把－隻我做给你的杯打破了」
「做一隻新的吧」
「新的不一様的」
........................
「昨晚我把那隻杯黏好」
「為甚麽？它已不能用，水只會流出來」 是指我跟你嗎？打破了的杯已不能復完嗎？
「新的不一様的」
「扔掉吧」
「我不捨得」
........................
五日後

五天沒有見你，多想跟你說．．．我想你．你甚麽都不用给我，就只给我一個緊緊的擁抱吧！

我用了五天的時間想，我想到那隻杯載的不是水而是我對你的思念，所以我把它黏回來．