sake

Last nite had too much sake. Actually, I just studdenly really want to drink last nite. I am not extremely upset, but just a bit moody. I know I will easily get tipsy after drinking sake, but I just want to forget about everything. I just feel so stressed out and feel so confused of what I really want to do.

Last nite talked with a guy that understand me really well. I am suprised that how well he understand me and always able to give good advise to me. His personality is so similar to bi, but just that he is not as good as him and he is not him. Maybe that's the reason I am not together with him.

I think if not the sake, there is no way that I would say so much to him. He asked me a question which I asked myself for the past month. " Do I know what I really want to do?" . I think I have to clear that out first, but the answer is I don't know. At first I beleive I have already get over the past, but these few days I actually think of the past. I know no one would treat be better than bi and no one can replace him. I really don't know what I really want.

I think he is right, I don't have time to play the stupid try and error games. I should be sure my decision before I do something. I should give myself more time to think what is right and what is wrong. I know I am a very impatient person, I just don't want to wait or waste time. I just want to have yes or no, but I guess this time I should be sure what I want before I do any step.

Its good to have someone know me so well, to give me good advice, to care about me, to love me.

Oh well, need to back to stupid study....><